A Variety Show Special Mary Sue Parodies MUST END
by Kato Shingetsu
Summary: Hello friends! I have decided to lash out at those who make Mary Sue fanfictions, HPIYYYH crossovers. This piece of work is preformed by The Shingetsu Acting Company. So please...read this piece of garbage!


A Variety Show Special!

Kato loses her mind- read and find out why.

Ok lets start this trifle of a fanfiction rant with the disclaimer. If I owned Yu yu Hakusho I would be married to Naoko Takeuchi. But I'm not. So lets get it started. 

For some reason I feel irritated at the wave after wave of fanfictions I see in the search engine. I am seeing endless crossovers between Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha and Harry Potter. Even more I am seeing a rise in Mary-Sue's again. I THOUGHT WE GOT RID OF THEM IN THE GREAT WAR OF 2004!! I was there PEOPLE!

Anyway this is a rantfic. That's right, you pushed me over the edge, I hope you're happy.

What you are about to read, isn't pretty. So please if you have any respect for me and my works TURN BACK NOW.

Otherwise, let's begin the satire-

Once upon a time warp in the magical land of Japan there were four guys. They were called the Rekai Tantei. Now everyone thinks that because four guys fight bad guys their automatically gay, so fanfiction authors usually put a pretty girl or two in their stories to balance things out.

That's where things go bad.

If your good at telling a story, the involvement of said girls will be minimal or actually having to do with the storyline in a non-pairing matter.

If you are a freaking Mary-Sue then you already know the storyline. And here it is presented by the Shingetsu Acting Company. We would have gotten the Tantei to play themselves, but they refused to do anything with Mary-Sues.

" Oh so NOW your bringing us into the fanfiction" Haru shouted.

" Yes" Kato said, " yes I am"

Ok the two second cast list-

Yusuke- Zach  
Kurama- Haru  
Kuwabara- Captain Jack Sparrow Poster

Hiei- Benniisan

" Kato, why did you make me Hiei?" Ben said while holding up Hiei's script, " Do I look like I'm 4 feet tall?!"

" I just thought you needed a break from acting" Kato said, " Hiei rarely says anything."

" Why am I the main character?" Zach asked.

" Because in badly written stories, Yusuke never really says anything either" Kato explained, " Even though sometimes the Other Character is Yusuke's Mary-Sue sister"

And playing the part of the girl.

" Oh right!" Kato said.

Kato went to the fridge and pulled out a tray off eggs. The side of the egg box said ' Instant Mary-Sue!'. She cracked the egg and out came pink ooze. The ooze formed into a hot chick. She was average high, dirty blond hair and bluish-green eyes. She had a name tag that read, 'Insert Japanese cutie-pie name here'

" Ok let's do this" Kato said, " ACTION!"

………

" Hi 'Insert Japanese cutie-pie name here'" Zach said dully while reading from his script, " I'm Zac…oh wait…Yusuke..."

Zach then stopped and looked over at Kato.

" Can't I just use my normal name?" Zach asked.

" Ok" Kato said.

" Fine. I'm Zach," he said to ' Insert Japanese cutie-pie name here, " And it turns out you're the incarnation of a magical Japanese priestess who is supposed to open the portal between Earth and the Demon World"

" Really?! I NEVER knew that I had these powers" 'Insert Japanese cutie-pie name here' said, " I didn't even know I was Japanese!"

" Your not?" Zach said.

" Nope!" 'Inset Japanese cutie-pie name here said, " I'm of Anglo-Saxon/European descent. I can also speak fluent Japanese, despite the fact that I've never taken a basic course in the language"

Anyway Zach is given a mission from Steven (playing Koenma, due to the fact that Steven is the smartest of us). The Mission is usually to protect the female lead, and Steven gives some information about 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie Name Here' and her past life about how she was with Yoko or something like that.

This is all just pure bogus and if you are really reading this like an actual fanfiction, please…go kill yourself.

" KATO!" Ben gasped.

" No man no" Kato said seriously, " If this appeals to anyone, ANYONE in the audience: Please….go kills yourself right now."

Kato then turned to Ben, " Your part is silent!" she snapped.

So Zach and 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie name here' walked about three feet to the left to see Kurama (played by Haru) and Hiei (played by Ben). Since we couldn't find anyone to play Kuwabara, we decided to use a Captain Jack Sparrow cardboard poster to play the part of said idiot.

" Hi ' Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie name here'" Haru said with a smile, " I'm playing the part of Kuruma (car?wtf?) and I find I think I might know you from somewhere"

" Hi!" Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie name here' said, " I think I might know you too!"

Despite the fact that Ben has successfully torched some buildings-

" DUDE WHAT THE HELL MAN!" Kato shouted.

" I'm getting into character" Ben explained.

" Oh….okay!" Kato said and sat back down

-Everyone else was being ignored. Insert a few pointless flashbacks about Yoko and a past life version of 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie's name here'….here…oh and if you'd like to add Kurone…go for it.

" Rest in Peace, Demon Goth Bat" Kato said while Holly blew her nose into some tissue.

" I WANT HIS HAT!!!" Holly sobbed.

Anyway at this point in the story there's some boss person that successfully kidnaps 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie Name Here' so she will open the portal to Demon Plane. By this time Kurama (played by Haru) realizes he's in loved with said female lead. The group goes on a seemingly impossible quest to get 'Insert Japanese Cutie-pie name here' back.

" Auctially" Steven observed, " All of the Yu Yu Hakusho missions are seemingly impossible."

Steven was sitting at an office chair, holding a fire extinguisher. He put some goggles on and pressed the lever. Steven went flying backwards because of the force of the extinguisher's smog

Anyway, the make shift Tantei ( Ben got stuck carrying around the Captain Jack Sparrow Poster) walked around the evil fortress. The battles they have here are kinda pointless and waste time. The four guys and one poster make it to some alter where a scantly clad 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie name here' is strapped to said alter and possibly dead.

" And now I shall rule the worlds!" the evil guy shouts and then lets loose the overrated evil laugh.

" MUWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

" I can do a better evil laugh then that.." Ben grumbled, " And I got a papercut.."

Insert Emo Moment Here.

Just then Kurama (being played by Haru) does a henshin transformation and turns into Yoko. So think of an albino Haru.

" BURN!" Steven shouted from the other room.

And 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie Name Here' does her henshin transformation into a hot kitsune demon. The evil guy ends up tripping over, cracking his neck and dying.

" Hurray!" Everyone shouted.

" Oh and I have something to say" 'Insert Japanese Cutie-Pie Name here' said.

Everyone gasped and looked at her.

" One" she said while turning to Kato, " My name is Cindy, BITCH!…and two…I'm a lesbian!"

" WHAT!?" Everyone said….and then looked interested.

" Go on.." Zach said with a raised eyebrow.

Freeze Frame This Moment!

" Now" Kato said while walking on screen, " Your probably wondering what an Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho crossover would be like in our Satire."

UNFREEZE THE MOMENT.

The miko version of Cindy throws a necklace onto Zach's neck.

" SIT BOY!" she shouted.

Zach crash lands into the ground.

" AHHH…GOD DAMNIT!!" Zach shouted, " WHY AM I STILL THE MAIN CHARACTER!?!?"

" I wanna be a mushroom" Haru said dully.

Everyone stopped and looked at Haru.

" What?"

Freeze frame again.

" Or what would it be like if this was a Harry Potter crossover" Kato said.

Unfreeze frame…again.

This time everyone is sitting on broomsticks, except for the Captain Jack Sparrow Poster…who seems to have been ripped up by someone.

" It had to be done" Ben said in a evil tone.

" HEY!" Kato shouted, " THAT WAS MY POSTER!"

" I feel a bit uncomfortable sitting on a broom stick" Haru said.

At this point, I have gotten completely off topic about this fanfiction…. This usually does happen in Mary-Sue fanfictions as well. My point is; these fanfictions have to stop.

It's over.

Don't even bother reviewing this sad little piece of work.

Kato Shingetsu


End file.
